SAG 2021 — Week 7 Report
Half time in the regular season. Bloody hell that was quick. As an eye is cast down the results to date, there’s still everything to play for. The next few weeks will be a telling period for all franchises as wins keep the season rolling towards the ultimate glory. In the opposite corner, losses will start to feel like Marley’s chains; forged by guilt and bad decisions, a weight crafted by the wearer, dragging them down through faults of their own creation. Beware intrepid GMs, for the road to the Royal Leonard is paved with losses…
In returning to traditional SAG news items this week, there has been some reflection by the CO on times past. The thoughts and stories around the water cooler have been dominated by fond reminiscing, with many tales of yesteryear being shared and relived in a joyous bout of recollection. With this in mind, and with 10 years of SAG now in the books, it’s a pleasure to share with SAG fans around the world the Top 10 Totems of SAG. Each of these hold a special place in the annuls of SAG lore and deserve their place in history. Most revolve around draft night as expected.
10. 391 Highett Street. A humble 2-bedroom house with a high front fence, tiny rear courtyard and a bathroom off the kitchen. The birthplace of SAG and site of the inaugural draft night.
9. Clarkey’s fingerless gloves. August nights can be chilly in Melbourne, but for GMs drafting their SAG team, beer blankets are in surplus supply. Why Clarkey decided to wear these is a mystery, let alone not take them off for a couple of immediate post draft pints off the wood at the Rising Sun hotel is, and will remain, one of the great unsolved SAG mysteries.
8. Bradlows. There haven’t been many SAG seasons without a Bradlow sitting in a GM seat. This is a classic strength/flaw conundrum, much like both James and Richard themselves. SAG wouldn’t be SAG without them, but they will prematurely age an unwary commissioner.
7. Draft Order Determinator (DOD). While the auction format and the move to a FAAB based system has improved overall league strategy and gameplay, simpler times didn’t necessarily mean simpler systems. The DOD was an effective and favorite part of the draft night proceedings. From results of greyhound races, to vodka shot roulette, to Brucie’s Big Ball Hunt, DOD always provided a bit of spice to get the devil in the eye of every GM prior to draft kicking off.
6. Rule tinkering. It wouldn’t be the off season without various dumpling fueled committee meetings and various suggestions from the bleachers on how SAG can continue to grow and thrive. If there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that come August there will be SAG rule changes to get your head around.
5. Bourkey’s big night at Revolver. Details deserve their own article. Stay tuned…
4. Past GMs. Steelers, Cat’s AIDs and Team Vulcan. Not many places these names would come together other than in the SAG. We are the sum of experiences and SAG’s experience includes many fine GMs that have cast their fantasy line off from the SAG wharf and sailed into the sunset. We raise a glass to them and thank them for their contributions.
3. Jackets. We all want one, few have them. The jacket debut was a multimedia infused spectacular that remains a highwater mark of the league. While double jackets and asterisks have recently come into the nomenclature surrounding the jacket legend, a GM will never forget his first jacket.
2. Yah Yahs. Spiritual home of the Official SAG Draft Night Afterparty. This venue of dubious patronage on Smith Street has claimed the Leonard Jacket during its tenure as a SAG partner venue, seen copious amount of D-floor heat applied by GMs and ended some of the great SAG nights out.
1. Drew’s Christmas miracle. The first ever SAG Bowl, a come behind victory, Drew Brees. Hollywood will immortalize this moment someday. Book/s will be written.
Tell me what you think. What's missing? Where have the rankings got it wrong? While you ponder and postulate, here’s week 7:
C4NT lost to JABs
This won’t be the first game that got bitten hard by bye week. While the WR position for C4NT looked potent and tepid for the JABs, the rest did not go that way. The two teams may have split the chocolates at QB but superior JABs performances everywhere else was more than enough to bury the News Team. JABs up and about and with a share of top spot, look out.
Slippery Gypsies lost to Clarkes Rubbers
The clean sweep has been avoided. Rubbers managed to save himself a pants down lap by not losing to everyone before winning a game. An especially sweet victory too against the bitter rival Gypo squad. The victory cigar smoke wafting down the Calder was rich and thick. Chase was epic for the losers in this one in really the only performance worth mentioning. D’Ernest (ed. I had to double and triple check this name wasn’t taking the piss), Deebo and Tua were excellent for the Rubbers.
Co-cainers lost to Taco
TacoCorp strung together two on the trot and blew up everone’s multi that had him locked in for a L given it was an uneven round. Cainers again off their early season white hot form and it's been said that two data points make trend — is this the cainer slide confirmed? Tampa D was enormous for the Tacos while King Henry changed it up and added a passing TD this week. It’s what you do when you’ve become too good for the game, just dominate out of position.
Patches lost to Bandits
This one should have been filled with fanfare and had pundits licking their chops. The on-paper champs vs top of the table upstarts. It kinda sucked as a contest in the end. The Bandit tarin which has been slowly building up steam all season in this column just tossed aside Patches, who played to the ‘Average’ part of their nickname, scoring exactly 0.08 more than predicted.
IMPORTANT REMINDER IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR:
Last week the important work all GMs have as good blokes was discussed and the league was challenged to get the upper lip prepared for some spring growth. Please join the official SAG Movember team below:
T-shirt is ready to go, just need the size of the winner so they can wear it proudly at the SAG Christmas function.
SECOND IMPORTANT REMINDER:
Pubs and other delicious beverage serving locations are now open in Melbourne. I’m ready to make up for another missed draft night so let's get planning.
1st and 10,
Commish Clue.
